It has been almost 1000 days since Sean McGee, who works for Nomura Securities in Japan has allowed our children Mary, Kate & Jack to come home to New Jersey. I supported my husband through his schooling and his career while being a stay at home mom for 19 years. To advance his career we moved to Tokyo in August 2011. This was supposed to be a temporary move for 2 to 3 years. The children didn’t want to uproot their lives and were hesitant to go but I assured them everything would be fine.
On December 7, 2012 after years of abuse I filed for divorce. My husband Sean had been drinking using substances for many years. I wanted to keep the family together, and I thought staying with him though his addiction was the right things to do. Both of his parents were alcoholics as well
During our time in Tokyo our marriage, unfortunately, broke down. Things had been declining before we moved but got much worse while living in another country with no family or outside support. Sean would constantly sneak out of the house while I was putting the kids to bed. He would regularly come home drunk and belligerent. He wouldn’t come home until 5 am on many nights, and had been found passed out on the streets of Roppongi, Tokyo numerous times. He fought with Japanese police when he was drinking.
Things had gotten progressively worse during our first year in Japan. Then in December the plan was for the entire family to move back home. Sean spoke with the company he worked for in Japan, Nomura Securities about this and his transfer papers where in the works. The movers estimated the return costs to bring our things back to the USA, and everyone was excited that our lives in Japan were winding down. At the last minute however Sean changed his mind and decided he wanted to stay in Tokyo. I had begun speaking with attorneys in regards to our options, and they to leave Tokyo with the children immediately. The US Embassy agreed and advised the same. Sean decided to fight dirty and promised the children a trip of a lifetime to Thailand if they stayed in Tokyo with him. I was able to bring our daughter home that December but Sean had cut me off from all money & credit cards. I had no choice but to leave to look for assistance in the states.
In January 2013 Sean filed for divorce in Tokyo. We were in court in NJ during the summer of 2013 where Sean perjured himself, stating that we were never ever planning to return to the USA. This has been particularly difficult on the children left in Japan.
Sean then spent thousands of dollars on frivolous appeals after the courts sided with me. Instead of saving money for our children’s needs Sean has spent our saving on appeal after appeal.
Our financial situation continues to deteriorate and we were forced to get on food stamps. Our home is in foreclosure and once again on March 6 2014 Sean’s Appeal was denied.
On April 7 2014 Sean was ordered to pay our monthly utility bills, a third of my lawyers fees, spousal support and the mortgage in hopes of getting the house out of foreclosure and us off of food stamps.
Sean has kept the 3 of our children in Japan. He doesn’t realize is that he is hurting our children as much as he hurting.
Sean lost his mother at age 7 and grew up without mother. This made him feel as through a mother was unnecessary. He blames me for “abandoning “ him as his mother did when she passed when I filed for divorce in NJ. Sean has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder. He fears being left alone and has learned to self medicate with illegal drugs and alcohol.
Japan doesn’t allow joint custody and I fear I wont see my children for many years to come.