I don’t know what I should say to you, or were I should start,
You were taken from me just before your 5th Birthday, which broke my heart. You’re 9 years old now and you will be all grown up, the things we did together are probably not even distant memories for you now.
Everyday I look at photograph of you and me together and I remember the funny, thoughtful little girl who loved her Daddy so much. I see your face in your brothers Thomas and Alex and I cry for the relationship you have not had with them and me.
I only have my memories of you at age 5 and in my mind and heart that is how I still see and remember you every single day.
In the very few short but very happy years we spent together. You filled my heart and world with love, joy and happiness. The love I have for you has never changed and will only get stronger as the days, months and years pass by.
I think about you every minute of every day. The childish things we always did together. The simple things we did that seemed so unimportant at the time. Like tickle monster and laughing out loud, which have now become treasured moments in time for me of our time together.
You probably have very few memories of these times or only what you have been told, it maybe that you have very little love for or towards me, I really don’t know.
Every day I put a post on Twitter trying to find you, every year I put a post on Facebook saying Happy Birthday Rhian. Hoping you will see it and know I am thinking of you. The rest of the day’s I am in tears. As I am now, writing this letter to you.
After you were taken away from me I found it impossible to work, as I was consumed by your absence from my life. Birthdays, Christmas and Fathers day are really very very hard without you by my side, as it always was.
I have all my photos of you as a baby and as a very young child. Every morning I see your face and my heartbreaks.
All my love, today, tomorrow and forever – Daddy (the tickle Monster) xxxxxxxx